Begin Within

When you walk to the edge of all the light you have and you take that first step into the darkness of the unknown, you must believe one of two things will happen. There will be something solid for you to stand upon or you will be taught how to fly.

Dr Patrick Overton

To all the moms along the trail,

The quote above was just what I needed to hear in order to gain the courage to help my son become independent. I posted this quote around my house to give me the strength, and it worked. Brandon now has twelve years of independent living under his belt, and in some ways he has learned how to fly, and so have I.

I have found that it is the lack of trust and the fear of fear itself that will stop us dead in our tracks.

I have used many tools that helped me to move along the trail and helped my son accomplish this amazing goal of independence. I would like to share a few of them with you. These tools are to help us to be the best we can be. That way we have more to give, especially to our kids.

1. Trust and believe in yourself and the decisions you make.

2. Look for the positive in ever situation.

3. Stay centered and balanced by eating well and taking good care of yourself.

4. Find someone you trust to share your innermost feelings with.

5. Find a way to vent frustration or other unwanted emotions. I found writing to be a great release.

6. Laughter is a necessity. Be silly. Rent a funny movie, laugh out loud, and enjoy yourself.

7. Live in the moment. Living out into the future can rob you of the courage to move on.

8. Be kind to yourself. Do something just for fun.

9. Get all the help, assistance and support from people who care--as often as you can.

10. Don’t believe everything you hear.

11. Trust your heart and trust your motherly instincts.

All the best,

Amalia

Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

The Back to School Autism Conference in Pasadena on August 14 and 15 was wonderful. I had a booth where I sold my books and met many terrific people. It was a great event for professionals and for parents to learn more and get support from others on the same path. Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Hello everybody, I am thrilled to announce the release of my new book, Raising Brandon. You can purchase a copy right here on my website. Visit my new website at www.AmaliaStarrSpeaker Autism.com or visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Another 4th of July, and it has such personal meaning to me. Independence is one of the greatest gifts we have and it is one of the greatest gifts we can give to our children--in whatever form that manifests. It's a day to celebrate our freedom, and that is exactly what I am going to do. Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Yesterday, I had a booth at the Autism Walk event.  It was amazing.  There were around 20,000 adults and children having a great time playing games and playing on the apparatus.  I had hundreds of visitors at my booth and it was a pleasure to meet them and hear their stories.  My book sales were fantastic.  It was a great day for all attendees.   Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

I was watching The Ellen Show today.  One of her guests was a mother  whose son was recently bullied to death.  He took his own life, because he couldn't take the constant teasing, bullying and harassing.  It's tragic. We do have to do something about this before more children take their lives, and our innocent children are harmed both physically, and emotionally.  My son, Brandon, was one of the luckier ones.  After years of constant teasing, bullying and physical abuse from some of the students at the schools he attended he somehow survived.  However, today at age thirty-six he still has scars and very deep wounds from being bullied.  As Ellen said, "Words can kill you."  She is right they truly can.  Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Free Author night with Amalia Starr

 I will be speaking at the South Pasadena Library on February 12 at 7:00 pm in the Community Room at 1115 El Centro Street.  Doors Open at 6:30.  I hope to see you there.

Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

I' m always thinking of new ways to help Brandon.  I decided to get started by making a list and adding to it everyday.  I'll share it with you soon. Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Brandon was so upset when he called  to tell me about what happened at Costco. He said he had to take 2 busses to get to Costco to buy some items he needed.  He said it took him a long time to find all the things he wanted to buy.   Once at the register he went to pay and the girl put all his things in a large box.  He asked them if they could put them in a bag because he takes the bus and they said, NO!.  Brandon cancelled his order and left without his items and in a huff.  Today I will call Costco headquarters to see what can be done about this. Not only for Brandon, but for other people who experience the same problem. I never thought about telling him to take a bag to Costco.  He keeps me on my toes. pay  Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Happy New Year to everyone.  I feel very hopeful that this new year will be a good one. I also feel grateful to have another year to experience life.  Watching Brandon grow and develop is a great gift.  I will be out speaking, giving workshops promoting independence for parents and their special needs children.   I hope to see you there. Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Where does the time go?  Trying to stay on top of things  isn't always easy.  I think I better practice what I preach.  I am off to take a walk and ground myself.   That has always worked wonders. Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Brandon ordered his eyeglasses and I had said before in an earlier post he was successful. When he returned to pick them up an older man adjusted his frames and sent him on his way.  Brandon didn't take the time to look into the  mirror.  When he got home a neighbor said to Brandon, "Why are you wearing women frames with flowers and rhinestones all over them?"  Brandon took them off and looked at them and sure enough they were ladies frames.  He got back on the bus to return his glasses. The man said he was sorry that he gave him the women's frames instead of the mans.  When Brandon called me to tell me this story he began to laugh.  It's fantastic that Brandon was able to find humor at a time when he could have easily felt upset.  Brandon is making great progress.   Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

I found this on the Internet and it spoke to me.  It is one of the most beautiful compensations in life... that no man can sincerely try to help another without helping himself. Ralph Waldo Emerson Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

I spoke to Brandon and he was delighted that he was able to order his new glasses by himself.   He was thrilled with the color and shape of the frames.  He was ever so pleased with the young gal Tiffany who was his sales clerk. She took great interest in Brandon and gave him plenty of time helping him to make a good choice.  These individual successes helps to build Brandon's self-esteem and self-worth.  Tiffany you made Brandon's day.  I can't thank you enough.  Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Yesterday, Brandon's prescription sunglasses broke. He called me sounding quite concerned, because he didn't know what to do.  I call it parenting from a distance.  Over the phone I was able to give him many suggestions and solutions.  Brandon loves to have choices.  Don't we all?Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

It is Bullying Prevention Awareness Week.  How fantastic.  Being kind to others, especially if they are different.  I wish something like this was around when Brandon was growing up. For more information visit ASA autism society.org, and click on bullying for some ideas and suggestions from Pacer.   www.raisingbrandon.com

Another week-end is ending, and the world is moving at such a fast pace I feel as if I have to run just to keep up with myself.  Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Greatest Birthday Present

I had a wonderful birthday and I received one of the greatest gifts.   Brandon called to wish me happy birthday and before he hung up he said, "I love you."  It may not sound like much to many people, but if you have a child/adult that has a hard time communicating, and responding appropriately you will understand why I feel the way I do. In Brandon's thirty-five years he has said I love you to me maybe three times, but he was coached to say it. This time he did it on his own and it had significant meaning.  We can't give up on our kids/adults you never know when or where or how they will surprise you.     Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

Last week-end August 9-10 I had a booth and I spoke at the Autism Conference in Pasadena.  It was wonderful to meet so many parents, teachers, and therapists seeking help and sharing professional advice all under one roof.   What a great place to come for answers and support.  I wish when Brandon was growing up we would have had conferences like these to attend.  Any time a parent has the opportunity to come to one of these conferences I think it is a great way to collect valuable information in a short period of time.  I am aware when parents leave many feel overwhelmed and I certainly understand that.  However, with taking good notes and a bit of space to digest the information most parents have a pathway, a direction with which to embark.     Visit www.raisingbrandon.com

It's a New Day

Yesterday Brandon called to tell me he had an epileptic seizure. He said the paramedics walked him home and he didn't have to go to the hospital. Brandon was happy about avoiding the hospital, but very unhappy about experiencing yet another seizure. This morning I called him to see how he was doing. I asked him, "Brandon how do you feel?" He replied, "You know mom it's a new day." Brandon continues to be my finest teacher. How lucky we are to have new days.


Visit www.raisingbrandon.com